Dress Up Soldiers
by KillingPatience
Summary: “-I explained to you it was a special case.” Roy interrupted calmly. “Though I do admit I failed to mention some creative methods would be necissary.” “…Creative methods…?” Ed repeated in a sharp hiss “You want me to freaking cross-dress!” Roy/Ed
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Apparently somebody else owns Fullmetal Alchemist... Thats what my imagination is for!**

**A/N: Im tired of emotionally draining oneshots, time for some fluffy-cliched-crossdressing fun! hope you enjoy :)**

"I have the mission prepared. It is of a high importance and I am entrusting it to you, this means the job needs your full attention, got it?" Roy Mustang addressed sternly over his large mahogany desk.

"Yes, sir." The younger answered nonchalantly from his position, sprawled out on the leather sofa..

"Im afraid _you're_ our only option, Fullmetal." He said, his authoritarian tone slipping into jesting.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing really. The military was asked to step in with this operation and careful consideration was put in about finding a suitable candidate. You're our best bet, kiddo."

"HEY! Who are you calling-"

"Whoa, Fullmetal, Im just kidding, calm down." Mustang said, one hand covering his face in exasperation.

Edward silenced quickly before Mustang continued, "Heres the file, this is an undercover operation, so to speak, so it would be unwise to travel with your brother." He said stonily as always, reaching over to hand Ed the documents.

"What am I supposed to do, I can't just leave him. We're a team!"

"I've had arrangements made for his accommodation, I understand your complaints but it is simply unpractical to have a six-foot suit of armour tag along whilst undercover."

"Yeah, yeah. I get it. Undercover huh? I never knew the military did anything cool like that!"

The older man let out a brisk chuckle "This is a special case," he hesitated, a smirk gracing his lips "but you will read about that later." He added.

"What do you-"

"You're Dismissed."

"Huh?" Ed muttered unintelligibly, turning towards the exit with the familiar 'kicked puppy' feeling every conversation with a certain Roy Mustang seemed to bring.

"Oh and, Fullmetal?" Said man inquired.

"Yeah?" Edward asked lazily. He looked back to where Mustang now stood, stepping in front of him his gaze intense. An unfamiliar emotion stirred behind his unfathomable black of his eyes. Edwards skin prickled, his chest tightening as his heart picked up pace.

Roy's lips parted momentarily, a ghost of warm breath melting in the air seemed to die along with his words. Roy's gaze broke, the moment vanishing as quickly as it had arisen. He placed a hand firmly on the young Alchemists shoulder "Be careful." He said simply, sliding back behind his desk and dismissing Edward with a wave of his gloved hand.

Ed obeyed wordlessly, closing the door behind him and leaning back against the wall outside to read his orders. He sighed contently, relieved to be out of the presence of Colonel Sarcasm and in the company of a quiet empty corridor. _What the hell was that about? _He wondered briefly.

Flicking open the manila folder he began reading through its contents.

From his desk Roy Mustang sat quietly, his head resting in his hands allowing a devious smirk to grace his lips.

"Why you conniving bastard!" came the young alchemists voice from the hallway.

Roy sighed, grinning behind his interlocked fingers as the irate blonde burst into the room in a fury, waving the State Military documents with a passion as he ranted incoherently.

"-I explained to you it was a special case." Roy interrupted calmly. "Though I do admit I failed to mention some creative methods would be needed."

"…Creative methods…?" Ed repeated in a sharp hiss "You want me to freaking cross-dress!"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Back to school tommorow, so I though I'd post this while I have the chance. *le sigh***

**Oh, first things first, Thank you to all the lovely reviewers :) I was so happy to get some feedback. **

**Nothing much happens this chapter, but it was necissary, the next chapter has been a whole lot more fun to write, so bear with me the proper shonen-ai is coming :)**

Edward collapsed onto the sofa, a menacing death glare aimed at the ceiling.

It was early, much too early. He had dragged himself out of bed and to HQ by daybreak for the official briefing and, to say the very least, Edward Elric was not pleased.

His mission was ridiculous, Mustang clearly was finding everything a little too amusing, and even Al was unsupportive. His brother's tiny childish laughter had echoed out of his armour until he clutched his chest plate to hold in his uncontrollable laughter, saying something like 'but brother, you will make such a _pretty_ military dog.'

The Fullmetal Alchemist was not pleased, if his pitch death-aura was anything to go by. But this only seemed to entertain the Colonel further who had positioned himself behind his desk and was mulling over the files before the other personnel arrived.

Fuery, Havoc, Hawkeye and Hughes filed into the room, being the only of Mustangs personnel available, standing to attention in a fashion very different from Edwards 'slam-stomp-collapse.'

Much to Edwards's dismay, Hughes began regaling him with a fresh batch of photographs of his young family. _I wonder how much he spends on film and developing each week_ Ed wondered briefly.

"Now, now, Maes. Im sure you can save 'picture time' for the end." Roys deep voice cut in, silencing his friend quickly. Everyone seemed relieved.

When he possessed the entire rooms attention he began "Our current case is another the police have requested our assistance with. It is a high priority kidnap/murder investigation so I want this everyone's top priority."

Though Mustang directed this at the group Ed understood it was directed at him alone.

"Yes sir." Came the response in unison.

"As of late, six young girls have disappeared from Camberwell Street market place in the last 7 months. From what the police have gathered, the victims all worked or were regular visitors to the marketplace. The oldest to disappear was 16 and the youngest 11."

"Just eleven years old…" Fuery muttered solemnly.

Edward held back a snort, he remembered being eleven. Age, maturity, they weren't connected. 'Just eleven' It didn't mean a thing to him. He felt like chastising himself for his cynicism, but his grim mood prevented such. _Not all eleven year olds are sinners like me._

"This is no time for sentimentality, Fuery." Mustang reprimanded casually before continuing, "In addition to the age bracket each of the victims shared something else in common, they were all blondes."

_That explains a lot_.

"An extensive search was carried out, however no bodies have been recovered and the police have hit a dead-end."

"What is our method of investigation, sir?"

"A fairly simple undercover operation. 'Bait' if you will. But considering the previous victims, the killers 'type,' we are forced to be creative. No one here, or anywhere else feels comfortable sending a female minor into the clutches of a serial killer, this is why those under my command became of _special interest _for the position."

All eyes fell on Ed.

"Aww, geeze." Ed groaned sulkily.

At this Hughes and Havoc erupted into laughter, Riza letting out a guilty chuckle before regaining her stern composure.

"But the victims- he's-ah…" Fuery stuttered.

"That is correct. Fullmetal will be our operative required to bait the killer."

"And you agreed to this Ed?" Hughes queried in disbelief.

Ed scoffed "Hardly. But Im not in a position to refuse, Im a dog of the military. If a dog doesn't do what its told, it's shot. Simple as that." He stated, a dark shadow casting across his features. "Besides, I'm willing to lose a little dignity if it means I can help catch a killer." Ed finished through gritted teeth, a wave of determination passing over him.

"Well said, Fullmetal." Mustang said, before heading back on topic. "Fuery, Hughes, you will also be undercover, largely acting as backup and compiling official reports. Havoc, Hawkeye, you will be overseeing investigations, in charge of re-categorising the police reports from a temporary headquarters."

"Where will this be set up?"

"A nearby apartment, I'm told the balcony oversees the area. If need be, an excellent position for a sniper attack, Hawkeye."

"Yes sir."

"And Hawkeye, your assistance will also be required in helping with Edward's disguise."

_Its because she's a girl right?_ Ed smirked to himself

"ahh…" she twitched slightly "With respect sir, I am not sure that is in the missions best interest."

Mustang raked his eyes over her "Perhaps you are correct." He said lamely.

Everyone in the room tensed visibly as Riza's fingers twitched near her guns holster, and black waves began emanating off of her.

She may have just said she doesn't want her boss to think of her as a woman, but even Im smart enough not to agree with her.

"If Riza can't help, Im sure my beautiful wife would be glad to assist, Ed!" Hughes exclaimed, breaking the ice quickly stars appearing in his eyes at the mention of his wife as he continued.

Mustang decided to ignore his friends incessant ranting "I'll be briefing you all further separately. Dismissed."

Ed watched silently as the officers filed out of the room, Hughes seemed a little disappointed at being interrupted and Hawkeye seemed to be controlling her anger, which was quickly turning sour. The kicked-puppy effect when leaving Colonel Bastards office mustn't be exclusive to him, he deduced.

"I probably will ask for Gracia's help." He muttered "In the meantime, you will need to change into your… disguise." He said, pushing a brown shopping bag across his desk.

Ed's jaw clenched visibly as he continued to stare unseeing at the ceiling, his automail fist, clenching from behind his head.

"I'll, uh, leave you to it, Fullmetal."

He waited for the sound of the door clicking shut before he hoisted himself up to investigate the bag.

He picked it up cautiously, pushing back all the horrible images of Lolita and French-Maid outfits that had plagued his nightmares and peeked inside.

He inspected each piece of clothing before laying it out on the two sofas. Edward sighed, it wasn't as bad as he had thought, far from Lolita at least.

His studied the long canary yellow dress that flowed awkwardly around him and clung to his slim frame, glad he didn't need to wear anything skimpy, though he put that down to the fact he would have to hide his automail more than ever. He also had a red cloak, something similar to his own only much paler, almost pink, without the insignia and with a delicate floral clasp. Lastly was a pair of plain white elbow length gloves, which he pulled on carefully over his metal joints. No it wasn't as bad as he had thought, and he kind of liked the cape, but Mustang had picked these out so he would never in his right mind admit it.

Soon after he was dressed, Gracia Hughes entered the room. He husband had already snatched up their daughter and was showing her off to each of his colleagues and acquaintances excitedly.

As Mrs Hughes considered what to do to Eds hair as she began placing objects onto Mustangs desk Ed sighed heavily, _Today will be a long day…_


End file.
